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Kids: do we know how to love them?
By Charmaine Tanti
My father was a teacher, my uncle was a teacher and I have now been a teacher for close on 15 years.
During these years, I have been through some of the worst times of my life, and I thank God for the children I teach who have always managed, though unknowingly, to make me forget for a few hours every day, the troubles I was going through.
I love working with children because I can be totally myself with them. I understand them and they understand that part of me that has remained a child and longs to communicate with them. On the other hand, being a teacher, I have also learned how to be a grown-up, how to be responsible for other people, how to find a balance between being their friend and a figure of authority. Unfortunately, many parents today are abdicating their roles and their authority because they would rather not grow up. They want to be friends with their children and so fail to establish boundaries, to provide their children with the structure and the support that they need. In a house full of kids and child-like adults, who assumes responsibility? I am sorry to say that I have seen instances with my own eyes where a child barely in her teens had to step in to play mother to her siblings while her mum was out having fun.
While the concept of being friends with our children is good in itself, children have taught me that at the end of the day, if you're an adult, they want you to behave like one. They have no respect for weak adults who try to please them at any cost and who give in to them all the time. On the other hand, they respect the adults who are strict but just, friendly but protective and supportive. Adults who are adults.
I think it's about time we stopped and thought for a while to see if we are really loving children the right way. They are there for us. Are we there for them? |
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I've heard so many people say things like "when you become a parent, instinct steps in and you just do what you need to do"... like all of those skills are inherent. When you step back and look at it though some of the most important things in life are given this same careless approach. Learning how to relate to your partner, how to raise your kids etc are things we should put more time and study into because those are the things that will ultimately determine your success and happiness.
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This intel was contributed by eris771
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May, 2012
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